


An Operation of Semi-Competent Thieves

by WeezlBot



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan, The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan
Genre: Drabble, Gen, Spying, Theft, disregard of privacy, it's kind of bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-01-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:22:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22213258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeezlBot/pseuds/WeezlBot
Summary: It's a drabble. Clarisse and Sherman have some suspicions about their dear brother. They decide to read his diary to find out if what they think is true.
Relationships: Clarisse La Rue/Chris Rodriguez, Miranda Gardiner/Sherman Yang
Comments: 2
Kudos: 35





	An Operation of Semi-Competent Thieves

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, here's all the background I'd write if I were a competent author. Basically, Clarisse and Sherman think that Ellis is secretly a homosexual because they've never seen him with a girl. They take the opportunity given by the New Year's celebration in New Rome to steal his diary out of his hotel room and read it.

“Ugh!” Sherman grunted heavily as he hit the ground. He rolled over onto his back, just in time to see Clarisse bearing down on him from above. 

She hit the ground right next to him and rolled, groaning. “... I think I fucked up my shoulder.”

Sherman sat up as Miranda ran over to him. “How bad?” he asked, folding his arm around Miranda’s shoulder.

Clarisse rubbed it. “Not bad. You got what we came for?”

“Yeah. Why do we need this again?” Sherman grumbled. 

Chris delicately touched down next to Clarisse. “Thought this whole op was your idea. To find out if Ellis was gay.”

“Right. His notebook.” Sherman knocked his head. “It’s in my jacket.” He pulled it out and checked it. “Seems intact.”

“If it’s not, I’m gonna staple your nuts to your leg.”

Sherman ignored her. He opened the book and squinted at it. “I can’t read any of this. It’s words, but I have no idea what it’s supposed to be.”

“... It’s upside down, sweetie,” Miranda said gently. “See? The little thread is hanging out the bottom.”

“... Is this just straight up a girl’s diary?” 

“Maybe. But it doesn’t matter,” Clarisse reminded. “Stay on track, Shermsies.”

“Call me Shermsies again and I’ll put a fireplace poker in your-”

“Sherman,  _ no,” _ Miranda reminded. “Here, I’ll read.” She took it in her hands, turning it over. “... This is…  _ just _ a diary. Like…  _ only  _ a diary. No furry porn, no confession of a sister complex, none of the BS you guys were joking about…”

“Just read it,” Sherman ordered. 

Miranda chuckled. “Yes, sir. Okay. Here goes.”

_ DEC 1: _

_ Chiron gave me this as a present ‘cuz I got claimed. Said I wouldn’t get to talk much in Ares. I think he’s full of shit. Ares is loud as shit. _

_ DEC 2: _

_ Just watched the ONE GIRL in the cabin break some guy’s legs. _

“Hah. I remember that,” Clarisse murmured fondly.

_ Anyway, my mom always said that if you’re scared of something, you should give it a stupid nickname. Her name is Clarisse. What should her nickname be, Risse? Riri? Risse’s Pieces? _

“If he calls me any of those things, I’m breaking him,” Clarisse threatened. 

_ I’m going with Risse’s Pieces. _

“That’s it. I’m breaking him.”

“Wait until I’m done reading this,” Miranda chided.

_ DEC 3: _

_ I’m making myself a sword. It’s gonna be called… Arcane Eternity. _

“Okay, this is retarded,” Clarisse announced. She grabbed the book and flipped to the middle. “We don’t need to see the shit he wrote when he was claimed at eleven. We need the  _ good _ stuff he wrote a few years later.”

Miranda gently took the book back. “Here we go.”

_ AUG 21: _

_ Sherman and I went out training today. Other than that… not much.  _

_ The atmosphere in the cabin feels like a thermonuclear bomb. Risse’s Pieces isn’t speaking to any of us. Not a word since the battle.  _

_ She goes somewhere every day. Sherm told me that we should follow her. I told him that that was a death sentence. He said shut the fuck up. I decided to follow him ‘cuz I didn’t want the BS. She didn’t attend breakfast like usual. Sherm and I saw her leave the cabin mid-breakfast. She walked to the Big House. I thought she was going to the infirmary. I was gonna say that it didn’t even matter if she was sick ‘cuz she could still take us both. She didn’t go there, though. She went right past Chiron in his living room and he didn’t even say shit. We had a harder time though. Sherman had to tell Chiron that we were going to the showers. Chiron just kinda nodded along. Didn’t say anything at all. Didn’t try to stop us.  _

_ She went through a door I thought went into a closet and went down a staircase I didn’t know existed. Sherm and I waited at the top. I heard her talking to someone. Sherman said it was Chris. That made sense. He is her boyfriend, after all. I told Sherm that they were probably doing some kinky shit down there and that we should go do something else. Sherm said they weren’t probably. Sherm said he had a hard time believing that any human being on Earth would want to have sexual relations with our sister. He said she was probably into CBT.  _

_ I didn’t know how to respond to that. _

_ Sherm and I wound up sneaking down the stairway anyway. We didn’t even see her at first. We wound up hiding behind some boxes. They were labeled “AMBROSIA”. At least we have some spares if something goes crazy wrong.  _

_ But that’s beside the point. We craned our necks to see where Risse’s Pieces was. We could see someone holding someone else in the corner. As we listened closer, we could hear that someone was, like, funeral-crying.  _

_ I turned to Sherman. He mouthed “oh, shit.” _

_ We left pretty quick after that. _

Sherman looked awkwardly at Clarisse. “I… I’m sorry.”

Clarisse set her jaw. “... I’m gonna end you both.”

“They were worried about you, Clarisse,” Miranda soothed. “You weren’t yourself after the Battle of Manhattan and they were worried.”

“I’m still gonna end them both,” Clarisse wavered. 

There was a pause. Chris rubbed Clarisse’s back. “... Well, this was a flop,” Chris managed. “We didn’t manage to find out if Ellis was gay or not and all we did was upset Clarisse.”

“Just flip to another page,” Clarisse grumbled. 

Miranda nodded. She opened it to a random later page.

_ SEP 20: _

_ The Area 51 raid fucking fell through. What a bunch of useless imbeciles. If only Chiron had let me be there.  _

_ I’m just happy I finally got this fucking book back from Cecil Markowitz. Fucking shitfuck won’t stop stealing my shit. I’m gonna make his asshole feel it when I get my hands on him.  _

“See?” Clarisse said triumphantly. “I knew it.”

“I mean…  _ make his asshole feel it _ is an interesting set of terms.` Especially for a not-gay guy,” Sherman mused. “Let’s see if we can’t find anything else.”

“Okay, this one’s recent.”

_ DEC 21: _

_ Got to New Rome last night. I don’t even know why I’m here. Maybe just because everybody else went. I’m in my hotel room now, so that’s a bonus at least. Sherman’s staying right down the hall with his girl Miranda. I guess it’s nice that he’s close. Better him than Risse’s Pieces. _

_ Anyway, I’ve got no date again this year.  _

“Here we go,” Clarisse squeaked excitedly, rubbing her hands together.

_ Like seriously, no one. I don’t know what exactly is wrong with me that makes me so undesirable. I mean, I know I can be a little dickish, but people date dicks all the time. Men and women.  _

“Men and women, huh?” Clarisse mumbled. “Well, boys, I think we have our answer.”

Sherman gave a small nod. “It’s possible.”

“Want me to continue or no?” Miranda asked. 

“Go ahead.”

_ So why does no one want anything to do with me? I’m not picky at all. I’ll do anything. Or anyone. I don’t care. _

Miranda looked up with a triumphant grin. “Well, there we have it.”

“There we do,” Clarisse responded.

Miranda looked down at the book in her lap. “Well, we don’t need this anymore.”

“I’ll put it back,” Chris responded. 

Miranda gave him the book and he scaled the hotel wall and entered the room through a window. Sherman put his arms around Miranda and Miranda took his hands in hers. She kissed his knuckles gently. Sherman sighed and nested his head in her shoulder. 

Chris slid down the side of the building and hit the ground delicately. He extended a hand to Clarisse. “Hey, you wanna go drink some more?”

Clarisse took his hand and stood up. “Yeah, I’ll go for that. Sherman, you wanna come?”

“Can I bring my girl?”

“Sure, why not.”

**Author's Note:**

> I should really just make an actual drabble doc on here instead of flooding AO3 with a bunch of super short plotless fics every other day or whatever.


End file.
